Of all the birth choices, which one is most important??
Oh how this question puts me in a star pattern. There are so many options in birth and until we know them, how do we know which one is the absolute must?
If if I HAVE to answer with only ONE response (after appropriate pleading to give you a handful)... it will be...
Here is the thing- providers operate with a specific philosophy of birth. They view it a certain way. They look at it a certain way. They answer your questions, your thoughts, your feelings, your preferences, and your potential and possible interventions- Through their philosophy. Through their birth lens.
How do they communicate?
Will they “allow” you?
Or do they come alongside you?
Is birth normal, typically low risk, and safe?
Some Technical questions-
What is their induction rate?
What is their cesarean rate?
(Because the two are correlated)
Listen to your friends birth stories. Read some online. Do their stories resonate with you? This is a MAJOR life event. It will stay with you forever. So heck yes you can hope and plan for a wonderful birth.
I like a whole lotta midwives and obstetricians. I like to listen to their stories, they make me laugh, conversations flow, I dig their style, they have great vacation spots, make fabulous dinner guests...insert all the reasons your cousins and neighbors love their OB... unless my provider shares a similar philosophy on birth, no way am I asking them into one of the most intimate moments of my life. I will likely not remember exactly what my provider says to me throughout my pregnancy and birth. (My oldest is about to be 15- it’s a real thing) What I will remember is how I felt. That will be the thing that sits within my chest. That will be the thing I carry with me when the words fade... that feeling...
Babes... birth is amazing. More and more women and families are celebrating it and experiencing it. You can too. Finding the provider that is right for you, who views birth like you... make that a priority. It’s okay to change. It’s okay to shop around. Its okay to say thanks, but no thank you.
You aren’t being extra, you are choosing wisely. You get one go at each birth. Embrace it. Dig in. No fear. Be strong and courageous. Become that fierce woman and mama God created you to be.
Luckily we have handfuls of incredible providers here in the Atlanta area. I do my best to thank them for the important life changing work they do. So out to the mailbox I go.... we need these awesome providers to stay and to breed more like them. This is life work... it shapes our soul.
You are paying for a service. You are a customer. Lets not forget it is up to us to choose the person best suited for the job. And if they start the job and you realize,